Question: What is another name for female Viagra? I stood at the front, cleared my throat, choked back the tears, and said, "Plethora." A little horse. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Explanation: This works on a couple of levels: as wordplay (genes vs. jeans) and as scientific fact (genes can determine body shape). A penguin in the washing machine. Im pretty sure I married someone elses soulmate. What do you call a fake noodle? 3. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". How do you throw a space party? Dont miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you up. I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike. What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? A maybe. 154 Funny And Best Dad Jokes You've Never Heard 2023 - Ponly Gardening Jokes + Printable Cards. 4. Thats the church I used to go to.. But hilarious jokes never go out of style. You guys didn't like it. Watch me pretend to care. Dont make me come in there! Why do we like volcanoes? When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Stickers - Redbubble The brunette smells it and says it smells like cum. Why dont we see elephants hiding in trees? } else { 50 Brilliant Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up When You're Feeling Snarky By Mlanie Berliet Updated February 10, 2022 1. If at first you dont succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling. Why did the candle quit his job? Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { A gummy bear. Well, I'm not going to spread it. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? What did the tree say to the tree surgeon? What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Robin who? Pilgrims. A Maybe. Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? Otherwise, close the page now. Whether you're looking for popular kid jokes, animal jokes or, yes, even the dad jokes, we've got them on this list of kid-tested/parent-approved jokes for kids. 11. All it was doing was gathering dust! Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? Explanation: Time is relative, especially to the entity that invented it. 29. 100 Funny Jokes To Tell Your Crush - Easy Recipes, Printables, And Fun To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Because they taste funny. Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. By the taste. What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? What did the leper say to the prostitute? But that's not all. What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? What do you call a pony with a sore throat? You just have to listen varicosely. But grammatically speaking, whom is the object of the verb to., If Ive told you n times, Ive told you n+1 times. Whats long, hard and erects stuff? We have picked some adult jokes for you to use. How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? I'll meet you at the corner. Mississippi. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Manage Settings Want more laughs? If someone ever asks you who asked you, have one of these good comebacks for who asked ready to roll. Curiosity makes us go forward and develop our intelligence. What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day? You might enjoy: 24+ Clean Comebacks for Get a Life. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. This one is both funny and clever because at first, it seems like a strange response but then it becomes clear that you are calling the question asker dumb. Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. 2. No, but you need all the help you can get. Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + . Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! Did you fall from heaven? Because they cantaloupe. The Satisfactory. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Original don't care + didn't ask. A chicken sees a salad. Anticipation is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions place to ask and answer thought-provoking.. Me a joke if you simply ask it to -- just say `` alexa tell. A chipmunk. Since 2017, over 500 new Campers have joined us across our three groups - Customer, Org, and Product - and we thought we'd share the laughter with you. Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine? He loses. How do you open a banana? Why is being in the military like a blow-job? Her face was flush with love. What's the best thing about Switzerland? Light travels faster than sound, which is why people like you appear brightuntil they open their mouths. You wait here. Whos there? Your girlfriend makes it hard. 21. So they don't peel. The pupils they dilate. See ya! Men are like public toilets the good ones are taken and the rest are full of crap. Whats even better than winning the Special Olympics? 8. You know there's no official training for trash collectors? For fingering a minor. You look drunk. When When When When When When When. 0 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BriannaPlayz: Escaping 100 Layers of ICE vs Crayons! The man. 1. Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. Who Asked, Nobody Asked, and That's Crazy, But I Don't Remember Asking are expressions used to indicate a lack of interest in what another person has said or posted, similar to Cool Story, Bro. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2010 Reader's Digest jokes contest: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. Would you rather have a million bucks, or [insert name]s head full of nickels? Waiter! Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), Funnier Or More Funny Comparative & Superlative Forms, 25 Best Comebacks To Suck My D*ck (Witty & Clever), 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events. When someone asks did I ask you, you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. The Best Corny Dad Jokes | Pun.me 110+ Prime Math Jokes for Parents, Teachers, And Kids - Fatherly 17. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Copy it to easily share with friends. Between you and me, something smells. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in an elevator. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. If idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard. There are twenty of them. Now do you get it? The infantry. I went out dressed like a chicken last night and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" Why do people make end-of-the-world jokes like theres no tomorrow? Oral sex makes your day. Hi! Cause your face looks kind of funky. Because they use a honeycomb. Why0is it that everything youlove is either unhealthy, addictive, or has multiple restraining orders againstyou? Whos there? What did one hat say to the other? What do a guy and a car have in common? Usually, when someone asks did I ask you? they are not being genuine. What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? What do you call friends you listen to music with? Id be fine if there werent so much blood in my alcohol system. I used to hate facial hairbut then it grew on me. King Henry the Second. Which is faster, hot or cold? person two: where? What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? Dude, your dicks hanging out. Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? Why are YOU shaking? What is a good response when a classmate says 'Did I ask you - Quora Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". The line gained popular recognition in mid-June 2011. "Dill me in!". Because they're very good at it. Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on others I let her sleep in. A receding hare-line. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. 10 Best Funny Riddles. Whats a adult actress favorite drink? Descartes replies, I think not and promptly disappears. "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. Do you love hearing jokes? You know we always have the funniest jokes up our sleeve, whether youre searching for short jokes, corny jokes, or even bad jokes you cant help but chuckle at. I was kidnapped by mimes once. She gave me an Australian kiss. But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. I'm a helicopter! When he thinks he's "him" but he's really just another "he" som original - . What did the left eye say to the right eye? Why was the guitar teacher arrested? What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? How do you make a tissue dance? Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" They did unspeakable things to me. Explanation: Dreipronounced dryis German for three. Neinpronounced nineis German for No. Dieser witz stinkt is German for This joke stinks.. What is the square root of 69? Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A clever response shows that you are quick on your feet can be really smart. I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? There are few things more frustrating than feeling like youre being ignored. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. Nasty knock-knock jokes: We give some joke weapons to outdo your buddies: Children interpret everything they hear their way. Those of you who think you know it all are really annoying to those of us who do. About. Why were they called the Dark Ages? Hey, just warning you: These lolable jokes should only be told among those who will accept your weird sense of humor: Whos there? No? What do you call balls on your chin? Watch popular content from the following creators: Aimzy(@aimzygg), jordan(@jjsshenanigans), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), jamal(@jamallxoxo), camille ;)(@111camillee), Jafiki(@jafiki), (@user1118012706685), Bacon vs Emos on this acc(@savage.bacon68) . Im taking this shit to a whole new level. "You're looking sharp. Did you hear the rumor about butter? We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. 46. 8. Person 2: Who's there? If they ask, "Who asked?" * No, but this is more stupid than anything I might have said. jokes just never get old. list jokes 'poker-jokes-that-are-sure-to-crack-even-the-toughest-poker When did I ask: what is it? What does it mean? - Definder How do you embarrass an archaeologist? If you're here, who's running hell? Things they would quickly admit are wrong to say, or that they shouldn't have said. The funny responses are more for getting a good laugh out of the group around you than trying to come out on top and seeming smart. 1. How is sex like a game of bridge? How do you stop a bull from charging? Masturbation is like procrastinationits all good fun until you realize youre just fucking yourself. Funny Riddles, Short Jokes, Trick questions - Greeting Card Poet If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Im not sure; I was born with them.. Dont worryweve explained each one, so you can still wow em with your humor and smarts. My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy, so I got drunk. Knock Knock! Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? Watch popular content from the following creators: jordan(@jjnthatsspam), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), jamal(@jamallxoxo) . This ability to anonymously put your thoughts out there for others to see leads people to frequently type and publish things they would NEVER say to someone's face. These Why Jokes (with Answers!) Will Always Get a Laugh - Distractify Where do young trees go to learn? Get out of here! shouts the bartender. the bear replies. By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. Got a PS5 for my little brother. But I'm clean now. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. When When When When When. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun couldnt reach. 48. One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. 6. What did the policeman say to the bank robbing skunk? "Catch up!". Even if you love these clever jokes, youll still get a kick out of these anti-jokes. But John came fifth and won a toaster. 38. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. When someone asks "did I ask you", you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. 15. They are similar to the phrase "shut up"and may be considered rude to use. Your opinion is very important to me. 100 Best Corny Jokes of All Time. If youre loving these clever jokes, youll get a kick out of these St. Patricks Day jokes youll want to share all year round. They went up by a, Two cows are grazing in a field. I think its time for us to go our separate ways and start making other people miserable. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? By Sergios Rotar It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you? Wait, don't actually look if you want functioning eyes. xhr.send(payload); Some are dead. Phillipe Phillope. 86 Funny Why Did The. Computers dont laugh at 3.5 floppies. Because the queen reigned there for decades. Whats red and moves up and down? How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? One was a-salted. Whats 72? King Henry the Second who? Smirking, the first friend replied, "Oh, c'mon I'm just tittin'.". When I see ads on TV featuring smiley housewives using some new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds theyreclearlyon. var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); You dont have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. It shut all my friends up! We have more jokes for you, click on big red button below. What did the O say to the Q? What's Forrest Gump's email password? Ok. (and then continuing usually does the trick). Ivana who? 45 of Ricky Gervais' most controversial jokes and one - iNews.co.uk That's it for now! dang i didnt know that ur so dumb u dont know the difference between answering and telling. #challenge #experiment Knock knock. But, heres a warning: Only use them in an appropriate setting where no one will be offended. if you were actually the one being rude and butted into a conversation you were not a part of, a clever or funny response is not appropriate and it would be best to say nothing and simply step away. Just stare blankly at the person who asked you that and say nothing. Not being a retard. They have many fans. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. Airplane Jokes for Kids. I failed math so many times at school, I can't even . What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? Read next: 32+ Sassy Comebacks Guaranteed to Silence Your Haters. The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. She choked. How did the hipster burn his mouth? What do you call a fish with no eyes? This joke makes light of changing churches. "Make me one with everything.". 5. Then, use one of the witty comebacks listed above to silence them! Lawyer Jokes That Are Criminally Hilarious | Reader's Digest Canada How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? The actor is still close with some of her onscreen family. Sneakers. But there are ways to counter it. Its the people I tell them to who cant. Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. A four-chin teller. Exaggerations have become an epidemic. Dont worry, said the doc. How do celebrities stay cool? Finding out it was traced. If they do, we've got more timeless jokes for you. This one works because it both acknowledges that you werent asked and draws focus to the fact that you actually did contribute helpful information to the conversation. A crane! The 55 funniest things to ask Alexa CNET - CNET My son asked me what its like to be married so I told him to leave me. .css-g0owdm{display:block;font-family:Memphis,Georgia,Times,Serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.625rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-g0owdm:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 61.25rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}Tom Selleck Reunites with Former Co-Star, 21 Shows to Watch If You Like Yellowstone, 'WoF' Fans Say This Is the Biggest Choke on Show, St. Patricks Day Trivia Questions and Answers, Adam Sandler's Wife Jackie Shuts Down Red Carpet, The Reason Hoda Kotb Hasnt Been on the Today Show, Kelsea Ballerini Fans Lose It Amid Career News, The True History Behind St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day Movies to Feel Extra Lucky. "I stand corrected!" Explanation: Youve probably heard the saying If Ive told you once, Ive told you a thousand times. Well, consider this the math joke versionyou know, because math equations use letters in place of unsolved numbers. xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. The bartender says, "Why the long face?". "Make me one with everything." 2. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Your mom sure seemed to care last night. 36. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a willy? Reporter: Excuse me, may I interview you?. Because the P is silent! A response that will make you feel like you won the confrontation. Explanation: A rhetorical question is one thats asked in order to make a point but doesnt require an answer. When you have an app or website open in Chrome, ask Google Assistant to help you complete tasks, like finding a video to watch or searching for a message. A buccaneer. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Hey, havent we metaphor? 25. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Theyre used to eating nuts. A lip reader. Do you want to hear a construction joke? How is life like a penis? Whats the difference between a girlfriend and wife? A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. Because they're really good at it. A cancer-causing ingredient sparked the alarm, according to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The fact that there are only two errors. Sometimes did I ask you is said in a joking manner and a funny response would be appropriate after that. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. He only comes once a year. The doctor replies, Sorry, I dont follow you . So youre the only one? 40. A deodor-ant. 69 with three people watching. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." Why do women have orgasms? What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? Dont forget to bookmark these hilarious what do you call jokes for future laughs! Whats the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. Some are dead. Then why are you still talking? Theres no menu: You get what you deserve. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? A cheese factory exploded in France. An impasta. Apple Jokes. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? What jokes similar to the "when did i ask joke"? - reddit I can totally keep secrets. Officials have announced that these frequently used products could result in infection. Same middle name. Well-armed. But these clever jokes offer something special: In addition to making others laugh, they make you sound smart. No? He kept leaving little messages around the house. How did you quit smoking? Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your faceonce you shove them down the stairs, that is. It can be used in a lot of contexts but usually, did I ask you? is more often than not a rhetorical question, with no answer being looked for.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_7',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); The short answer is, yes. To Who? What do you call a bear without any teeth? "I'm a. 33. The dont meet the koalafications. Escaping 100 Layers of ICE vs Crayons! - Facebook I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. A pork chop. Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? Because he had a great fall. Ivana. You come across as a person who has low self-esteem and is embarrassed to ask anybody for anything, for the fear of being refused or rejected again and again, so I did it on my own and to stop you from becoming a spectacle. Buy any 10 and get 50% off. Beano Jokes Team. Dress her up as an altar boy. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? What is the opposite of a croissant? I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed! Every 'Who asked' copypasta. ), *stop what you are saying and say: "Wow you are rude, but I'm pretty sure asking "Who asked?" One looks at the other and says, You know how to drive this thing?!. 9. Also, sometimes saying nothing is the right response. Person . Never mind, its too long., Two goldfish are in a tank. While the forgetfulness could be funny on its own, no one wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing up a good joke, especially if its one of the, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), why did the chicken cross the road? jokes, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Which will often come across very rudely. This response works because it makes it seem like you dont really care what the question asker wanted. Jokes to Test Your Brain! What did the card say when he didn't end up getting through the job interview? Sorry, I'm still working on it. "I'm not sure; I was born with them.". I don't think you should be happy. When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Sticker By plydia From $2.02 Seven Days without a pun makes one weak white T-Shirt Sticker By Newline store From $3.36 Forget About Princess I Want To Be A Zebra Sticker They've kept in touch after all these years. There just arent as many people who believe it. I like waiters, they bring a lot to the table. Well. "You wait here, I'll go on ahead.". What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? And funny in a way that like, opens your mind up even," says comedian Sean Patton. The guy in the middle says, Wow thats funny, I dreamed I was skiing., A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Explanation: Kleptomaniacs (people with the impulse to steal) take things literally because they literally take things. Why was the nurse asking for a red pen? Here are 45 of his best (and cringe-inducing) jokes from previous shows and appearances, and The Office: Warning: adult humour follows "Where there's a will - there's a relative!" What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? Waiter if I get my hands on you! Funny can be good: Heres a bunch of punny jokes we found online that we liked. By making him one with everything, the hot dog vendor is connecting him to a spicy dog, mustard, and sauerkraut. There was nothing left but de-Brie. A limbo champ walks into a bar. "Close the door, I'm dressing!". The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!". Re-Morse code. Because it was a little horse. Because he neverlands. Elementree school. To. Beef strokin off. What do you call a pudgy psychic? How much money does a pirate pay for corn? Now the focus has shifted back to them, showing anyone in earshot how rude the first question was, making them embarrassed and making you laugh. I took a poop in the elevator. Elementree school. 50 funny, easy jokes for kids to learn and tell - Care.com Resources Find out here! By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. What do boobs and toys have in common? A tomato in an elevator. Because theyre used to eating nuts. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. Here are over a dozen irreverent history jokes to share with your favorite history teacher or students. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Explanation: A hyperbole is an exaggerated claimkinda like this joke. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Who asked / nobody asked gained popularity in reaction images in . Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone asks did I ask you, you decide to give them a funny response. Between you and me, something smells. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Once a girl looked at me and shouted loudly, I don't want to sit next to her! To get to the other side. Because they're always stuffed. Here are some of the best comebacks to shut them up: Who asked? is the age-old retort of the unhelpful and uninterested. Well it's your lucky day, because we've got .

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