LAVENDER But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. And children in the bottom class aren't really expected to read. MATILDA Matilda. Roald Dahl (1988) | by Opening lines from children's books 9. Is it time for school yet, mum? All escapes start with the click of a lock. Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! MRS PHELPS MR WORMWOOD You can be all cynical, Are you being smart with me? Thirteen times two is twenty-six. 1. BIG KID [BEN] 7. MISS HONEY "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. And that's not a hint, by the way. MRS WORMWOOD You have to put it right . Mrs. Wormwood: They never stood a chance. See you tomorrow! [hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda] MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. . The Lord of the Rings . And that's not right! How do you do this? Matilda Character Analysis | LitCharts It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books. 1. Conclusion - Best Pick Up Lines. What we all suspected. . Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. A few! What? And it's made of spikes and wood. My, my, that is good. . Back before my life had ended, in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! It's the female minor. MISS TRUNCHBULL What? "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". And . Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! | A DOCTOR enters. Would rob them of their hope of living happily. Is a miracle! What was my profit for the day? Smells chocolatey, eh? They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. ". It is flanked by AMANDA and ERIC in lab coats over their costumes. MR WORMWOOD That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. With your stupid books and your stupid reading. What do you think might be the cause of this? Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? Wonderful. This is the cottage from your story. You'd better hide! Well I had to take a shower, Harry! And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV! Narrator: What poem would that be? MISS TRUNCHBULL There's, erm . Nobody but me is gonna change my story. That's right, honey, look at mummy. DOCTOR The table stops and the hands hit the ground. Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. MR WORMWOOD Didn't we? Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. And another door closes. Agatha Trunchbull: When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! [to his partner] . She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, Last week, I read quite a few. Bruce Bogtrotter: Sixteen times two is thirty-two. But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. Do I allow pigs in my school? ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids, reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard, to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts, He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is, to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers, speaking to Matilda about her and her father, accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water, Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it, Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull, snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover, appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob, after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers, Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to, she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up, she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely, she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her, Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart, throws carrot from the spoon. In other words, a pick-up line is an icebreaker or a conversation opener. Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house. I want to be in school. Yes. 40 Dirty & Funny Pick-Up Lines - PsyCat Games A little less dressing like your mum. She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. All right! WOMAN: And insightful. Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? Crush that little weasel! | Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. Keep out of reach of children. I have suffered in this jail. I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. Mrs Phelps? You're being pathetic! [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. in a week. So she's learned a few tricks. In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. . Let out your belt. Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. Shut up! No, no, no, no [ad lib. I can! She misses me so much. Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. Honest. Can't you sell good cars, Dad? Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the . . COUPLE 2 Well? Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. Sing, children. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. When she was just two years old, her mother died. What do you want, Miss Chutney? But if I try I can remember, These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. Harry Wormwood: And please don't say "the gym.". Marvellous. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. Leave it alone, Jenny. BIG KIDS That didn't happen. The most common thing in life is life . [interrupting] Harry Wormwood: The CHILDREN reach out from behind the gate as the BIG KIDS carry them away. The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen! Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. Matilda: . Now: Matilda Pick Up Lines - jouou.rocks And . As a huge cloud of chocolate-y gas wafted from my mouth and drifted across the class. Is she here? Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. . It's just pathetic. CHILDREN 1 Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. NIGEL, TOMMY If you sit around and let them get on top, you The vanity rises again, signifying morning. I live in a cage, Harry! It's . Trunchbull: You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. And, while you're at it, why don't you stick your stupid book to your stupid head? Absolute silence. DOCTOR Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. Just knock on the door. Behind MR WORMWOOD and MATILDA, the scene changes from a living room to MATILDA's bedroom. The subsequent fall was inevitable. Chew your food; you're an animal! Write this down. Quite a long way, I think. MR WORMWOOD That's it! Matilda: When lights come up again, AMANDA is gone. But the "tomato" is a very good word. All right. She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . . It's Miss Honey. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN take up various positions around the stage and audience, pointing in every which way. [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] You're only four years old. What? MR WORMWOOD Who wants stories? The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. Harry Wormwood: When the hinges creak and the door is closed, I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. MATILDA [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. What am I? MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. Harry Wormwood: You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. The less you have to sell, the harder you sell it. Glad I never was one. The 30+ Best Matilda Quotes - Ranker Whoa! Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. I told you I was supposed to start school in September. Dance competition's over. MRS WORMWOOD MISS HONEY. [into recorder] "I have a pen, you have a phone number. ], CHILDREN MATILDA I'm Lavender, and I think it's probably for the best if we're best friends! How much, exactly are we talking about? Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. Please, stand, and do as much as you can. What am I thinking? Not dressed in hospital cotton, Well, this crime took place before school started. See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? DOCTOR I think he blinked. Is a miracle! Would you like some milk? How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here? MISS TRUNCHBULL Matilda: He takes it and squashes it firmly down onto his head. DOCTOR Brand new stock, sir! [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] . A beautiful, beautiful little girl. You have to stay inside the circle all the time. . Good-bye, Miss Honey. A large iron gate made of square holes of various sizes rolls in from both sides of the stage. This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. it isn't fair! FBI Agent Bill: Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet. You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat, one of the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: Platinum blonde hair dye. Babes, I'm on fire, here! ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE And if you want to teach success, [insulted] Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. MISS HONEY Mind? I'll come in there and pound your miserable hide! MISS TRUNCHBULL WOMAN: She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. Might she be a little brighter than her class? Smile for mother! . You make money? Three times two is six. DOCTOR I love it here! 104 Best Pickup Lines - Funny and Cute Pick up Lines for Flirting Agatha Trunchbull: 3. Matilda: She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. Zinnia Wormwood: Look at you trying to hide, silly. Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. You I want you around here now with another car! Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? . When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. . From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". From a book in the library. I heard Meowth's not the only mischievious pussy in town. MISS HONEY Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! Russian businessmen: very, very stupid! Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. Agatha Trunchbull: What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? I can feel it in my hips. DOCTOR Wait, Dad, you're going too fast. You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN MRS WORMWOOD From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! She uses them to carry on a conversation. $5,000? Miss Honey: What on earth did you do that for? [to MISS HONEY] You don't! But my mummy likes them! Oh, it will only take a moment. . If you want to throw the hammer for your country. All right. MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. . In business, son, a man's hair is his greatest asset. Agatha Trunchbull: MRS PHELPS Overall, the best pickup line is one that is creative and original. I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. MRS WORMWOOD I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, 19. MATILDA The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. "Right"? Dinner time is family time. 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. His do-dah. . Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. They are good runners, sir. They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. Oh, no, Matilda. To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! Isn't there some more? Matilda centers on Matilda, a young genius with telekinesis powers. Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. A book? Pathetic, little me. Narrator: Semi-Spanish gown Harry Wormwood: [suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand] Apply just one simple rule Go on, Brucey! The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage has been . 3. No, but don't people need good cars? There's more the second part. Just knock on the door . //-->. I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD MRS WORMWOOD Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? . A shrimp. Good show. You fool! MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. What? . I don't know. A person. BRUCE It was the biggest burp I had ever done. In . Sell me a lemon? Yourself, Matilda? google_color_border="EDC7C2"; She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. off to prison you both shall go!". Who is this, babe? ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] . Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! Zinnia Wormwood: Okay. That is a promise. [sometimes, to be in time with the music: Well? Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. . The guy with the stupid haircut! . Let me tell you something, son. Sued by who? You wouldn't beat them in a race! Or just a coincidence? I think you'll want your trousers loose. I didn't do it. Four times two is eight. NIGEL Neigh! Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. Harry Wormwood: But here it is, coming true: For this newt you pin-worm! 100 Funny Pick Up Lines - These are guaranteed to make her laugh! She'll call a truce, Bruce. Eat! Put your light on. Oh, it's nothing like that. Matilda: No, sir. From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. The most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. . BIG KIDS . He stands up on a block. . See who wins. 5. This it not your problem. MATILDA MRS WORMWOOD Now, here's a tip: [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. Even if you're little, you can do a lot. four hundred and eighty-seven. This child doesn't have a "thingie" . Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, No "buts". Zinnia Wormwood: Trunchbull: There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. Everybody loves a little something exotic. MRS PHELPS You should read it. Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. . Now, look at you, and look at me. What's wrong with me? One look at my face and it's plain to see. 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. And I shall crush you. It's the Trunchbull's speciality. Mum, would you like to hear a story? Can you service me? Dosvedoo-dah. Find the bally line and toe it, He'd call me bumblebee. Zinnia Wormwood: Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Oh, let's put it this way. Cancelled, because my wife is . Harry Wormwood: Stand out from the crowd! It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. Oil of Violets hair tonic. A baby, Mrs Wormwood. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, It's just a door. Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. That love and fate and a touch of stupidity Don't listen to them. Kim . (Bruce!) Mrs. Wormwood: This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. There's nothing to fear. Harry Wormwood: Hide me! Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. "Time is on our side. If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you. MRS PHELPS exits as a siren wails and the scene changes to Crunchem Hall Academy. NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. Like hell! Matilda: Well, then stop her reading! What about rules, Honey? Miss Honey: I shall pound you. Watch Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical | Netflix Official Site Past Alice. MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. How sweet. A curtain is wheeled in with the words "5 YEARS AGO" painted on it. I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. You show the little brat! I don't know. Not the end of your nose. MISS TRUNCHBULL Oh, that's where it's at! And if it's not right, Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? In fact, it must have been her who put that stink bomb under my desk this morning. Not even when the hammer left my hands Oh, did I not mention? All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? He's part Italian, you know. MATILDA Matilda: MRS WORMWOOD google_ad_height=90; TOMMY Just you wait for phys-ed. That was Miss Honey. We can't leave valuable packages sitting out on the doorstep. MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. If you are having fun, you are not learning. Before my happy days were over, MATILDA THE MUSICAL. Harry Wormwood: Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. [She underlines the sentence on the board.]. I'll be watching you, each and every one. . You? Yes, your teacher. Now get out. Make him stop! Agatha Trunchbull: You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. Is your nickname glucose? A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. . We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. You'll fit it in. Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? MR WORMWOOD Fifteen times two is thirty. I think they just fit. I'm afraid I've not been too successful in getting others to recognize your . Matilda, 4 Years: Lissy Doll, I called her. MRS WORMWOOD Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? WOMAN: Smile for mummy! 116 Math Pick-Up Lines That Are Positively Adorkable Matilda: Did you hear what he said? Lavender? Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words You gotta be loud! She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. But I shan't enjoy it, because of the despicable way in which you have spoken to me tonight. A model of a grand old house rolls in from the back of the stage. MISS HONEY Follow. One should avoid confrontation when possible. Matilda: Jenny: Michael: MISS TRUNCHBULL If you always take it on the chin and wear it, [COUPLES What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull: . Oh my. CHILDREN Now, can anyone read this? . Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. Mrs. Wormwood: [tosses the cereal in the air] MATILDA You should be embarrassed. (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! Miss Honey: Did I let myself go. RUDOLPHO How does that sound? Hmm. [bends down] I have all these extra. Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. Now, look. I mean, it's just not normal for a girl to be all . One look at my face and it's plain to see. MATILDA This calls for a proper smoke. An exception. I'm telling you, I didn't do it! PDF MISS HONEY LAVENDER - Theatrikos My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. [walking out of the room excitedly] The secret to my success is this. Come on!] WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? I did not! 4. CHILDREN 2 What am I gonna do? Oh, my hair! To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess. A single slice, What's the matter, Bogtrotter? With her, it's all "books" and "stories". [Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull] We can spell "difficulty". I have my ion you. I'm incredible! What a pleasure to see you. The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. Don't hide it under a bushel. MISS TRUNCHBULL One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days. MISS TRUNCHBULL Michael: [yells] Two, three, four. 150 Pokemon Pick Up Lines (Cheesy, Funny & Dirty) - 2023 Ow! MATILDA MATILDA sits down reading a book. She opens a book. For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. LAVENDER celebrities! MATILDA stands at the front of the stage as her classmates walk in and the desks rise from the ground. Looks are more important than books. But unless you want to suffer, listen up endobj RUDOLPHO AAAHH! ALL COUPLES: What? Michael chokes the carrot]. Considerably roomier inside. [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] I don't know. "tomato"? Just so you all know, she's my best friend! [to Nigel] When did this happen? That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! Oh, no, it's a lovely book. I can't abandon my children. Your old man is going to work. The Invisible Man . Why? Go fig-ueur! I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! Come on, Bruce, be our hero. Matilda : I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. Matilda: Above average is average. She taught us with a poem. MRS WORMWOOD I am off to bleach my roots . . Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. . A bell rings. MRS WORMWOOD My name is Miss Honey. Mine are driving me crazy. And if you cry it will be (W) double. Get in the car, Melinda! Back before my life had eNded, Well, I needed to learn to read words so that I could read sentences. Whee! MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. CHILDREN Mr Wormwood! Agatha Trunchbull: Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. MATILDA We never thought it was possible, Trunchbull: Yes. RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help.

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