Gardner Dickinson, Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. My drives aren't always long and straight. Simpson, Most people play a fair game of golf If you watch them. It can be difficult. Nay! Discover the views of a person who feels the same way we do. What is the difference between a fisherman and a golfer? Whos there? It took one afternoon on the golf course. Hank Aaron, owner of 755 home runs and one amazing golf quote. About 160 yards was his reply. I once played a course that was so tough, I lost two balls in the ball washer! Besides that, I love to explore. I'm still working on my approach, but I think I have a pretty good swing. Ian Fleming, I drove a golf ball into the air / It fell to earth, I knew not where / For, so swiftly it flew, the sight / Could not follow it in its flight. Ive got some real trouble down here., Don comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out: Whats the matter, John? After his practice round he noticed a beautiful young woman by the clubhouse. After 18 holes, I can barely walk. Man: Please dont go. What does masturbation and 4 putting have in common? And only one secret has emerged, one swing of thought that always works. Paul Gallico, I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles. Two, be your own person. Enjoy the game, enjoy these best golf jokes. Your email address will not be published. Hey would you like what you're hiding in your tight jeans to be the 34th ranked golfer in the world because I can make that V-jay sing? "I'm in my bed you're in your bed ". Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. Pretty is as pretty does. Harvey Penick, 61. Don Carter Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. You look like you'd be a great ball-washer. He also starred with the equally late and great Walter Matthau in one of my favorite movies, Grumpy Old Men. How far do you hit it? said Palmer. Just ask my ex -wives. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." What's the difference between a golf ball and a car? Why did Snoop Dogg bring an umbrella to the golf course? The 32 Dirty Quotes of all Time - quotesforbros.com Lee Trevino, 59. What are a golfers favorite flowers? Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? The other 20. "Golf is like a love affair. Golf is a game where the ball lies like crap, but the player lies like a pro. "The most important shot in golf is the next one." - Ben Hogan "I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators." - Gerald R. Ford "The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie." - Mickey Mantle "To find a man's true character, play golf with him." - P.G. Mark Twain, The average golfer doesnt play golf. Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. It will test your patience. Knock, knock Please read here for more information. They say golf is like life, but dont believe them. Winston S. Churchill, You ought to take more exercise if youre inclined to have a liver. A two-foot putt to win a bet or a tournament or a Masters is another thing entirely. James Murray, Enjoyment of golf, regardless of the level you play at, is primarily based on how closely you play to your level of ability. "I was married to her for 35 years." 2. I'm known on the tour for having a lengthy club. Happiness is a long walk with a putter Greg Norman, 38. Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. His playing partner: Wow that was one of the most beautiful things that I have ever witnessed., Man: Well, I was married to her for 30 years.. had to choose, right ? Are you a water hazard? Wanna be my caddy? "There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino "Golf is my profession. 4. And now it will be poisoned for you. Golfs a game where you shout, FOUR! and score a seven, while writing down a five. Sick of the same tired old golf puns and gags? What do you call a blonde at a golf course? What Is The Difference Between a Golf Skirt and a Tennis Skirt? I know what to look for. The little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. I hope you like it rough because I don't replace my divots. The end. 21 FUNNIEST Golf Jokes 2023 (with Puts and Puns) - Jokes Quotes Factory I'd say how hard do I hit it, he'd tell me and I'd swing. He was puttering around. Jack Benny, The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight. course sometime. Clubbing. Ben Hogan, To find a mans true character, play golf with him. 5. Bruce Lansky. See you in the Email! Id cry too if I played golf like you. ~ Sijin Bt. You get bad breaks from good shots, good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play where it lies." Bobby Jones 23. P.G. The actor's quote relays an essential truth: Even the most mild-mannered golfer tends to lose his head when he sees or suspects someone else has hit or picked up his golf ball. Youre shooting for the green, and yet, in the end you find yourself in the hole. I hope you can use them for your game and as inspiration. Find the ball. Why dont skeletons play golf? 2023, 35 BEST Lionel Leo Messi Quotes (About Life, Work, and Football That Will Inspire You), 53 Cristiano Ronaldo Motivational Quotes (About Football, Hard Work, Life, and Family), Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. Tiger Woods can drive a ball three hundred yards! Without trust, it feels like you and your golf club are on opposite sides of a tug-of-war. Dr. Joseph Parent, 9. We collected these beautiful images with quotes about funny golf for you because we understand the value of your thoughts and feeling. Andy who? Thats incredible. Where is the best place to go on vacation? Golf is a puzzle without an answer. This position should feel sort of unnatural and should permit you to hook the ball without altering your golf swing. but I can show you what is! 21. Dave Barry, Golf is the only game I know where you call a foul on yourself. Whats one tip all golfers should follow to improve their game? 75 Hilarious Golf Puns and One-Liners That Don't Suck What did the golfer say after performing yoga? With the exception of the putter and the driver remember that you hit down on every other shot in golf. Tiagra. The brush is quite thick, but he searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. Draw a mental image of where you want it to go and then eliminate everything else from your mind, except how you are going to get the ball into that preferred spot. Sam Snead, 46. Drops him off at the golf course! Dirty Golf Sayings Jokes - Sports Jokes - Jokes4us.com Rory McIlroy has a GOOD driver! After a particularly poor round, a golfer spotted a lake as he walked despondently up the 18th. Success depends less on strength of body than upon strength of mind and character. Arnold Palmer, 52. The three tried & true methods of improving your game are: practice, study the pros, and cheat your ass off. "If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.". He grabs his 7-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball. How many strokes was that? John shouts back in a nervous voice, Throw me my 8-iron! Bye Bye Birdie. Thats how long a Scotsman takes to finish a bottle of Scotch! Do you know why the game is called golf? Although the same can be said of the rest of the items on this list, just reading the quote doesn't really do justice to its comedic value. Grip the club as if you were holding a baby bird. Sam Snead, 58. You may share any of these heartfelt photos with funny golf quotes without hesitation. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. To find a mans true character, play golf with him. P.G. The formula for success is simple: practice and concentration, then more practice and more concentration. Babe Didrikson Zaharias, 19. "I'll kiss you on the rain so you get twice as wet". So what are you waiting for? Tommy Bolt, As golf conquered the United States in the decades preceding World War I, the British import took on new forms. Jan 1, 2016 - Explore Uwharrie Point | Golf Communit's board "Golf Quotes", followed by 482 people on Pinterest. How about grabbing two of your friends so we can play a foursome? And it matters how we go about attaining them. Whats the shortest distance between the tee and the hole? Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. As he approached the threesome, he said Hey guys, do you mind if I play through. Noah golf pro who can fix your swing? Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: az11107, jemallor, 21ob, dudedudester1, racke78, mcsheehy54, konczalangelia, fourq2. In case he got a hole in one! Drop some in the comments! They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken. Ray Floyd, 41. Wodehouse, 31. If you like football - I would rather think that you are active, optimistic and strict a bit. I'm gonna pound you like I do these range balls. Lorena Bobbit stealing your putter! Jack Benny. There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly or start cheating. Boo who? I love the contrast between the agony of a golfer bleeding out and the ecstasy of a moment of creative genius. "Golf is the perfect thing to do on a Sunday because you spend more time praying on the course than if you went to church." brockoli117 on Reddit.com. They have been there where we are standing now. Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't Where do ghosts play golf in the afterlife? This post may contain affiliate links. Sunday Service. O'Grady's comment relates the essence of the experience of a lot of rounds of golf for a lot of golfers.

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